Changing it Up

So if I’m in a workout rut, or a body rut, or a whatever kind of rut I’m in I’m sure it means (as Shanti suggested) that I need to change things up.  But I think, maybe not just in the workout area. Maybe in every area.

Today I flipped through my Women’s Health “Get-Back-In-Shape Training Guide” that I’ve been hanging on to but doing nothing with for the last 6 months and I saw a 15 minute circuit workout that involves 4 moves with a resistance band (the whole circuit is done 3 times through).

It felt somewhat easy but good!  and I was inspired to then jump on the treadmill.  I knew I didn’t have enough time to get much mileage in (I was working out on my lunch break) so I ran 1 mile with a few sprints then stopped and checked my time.  Then I did 1 mile of steady pace and compared times.  It was fun because there was an attainable defined goal. I pushed myself because I knew I could and I wanted to. I’m not a fast runner. At all, like, my fast sprint time was a 10:17 mile and was working hard but the only way to get faster is to… get faster. It was a really good workout, it felt really good – a quick circuit and 2 miles.  Sweet!!

This morning I was thinking it might be nice to start focusing on a few different things.  I whipped out my camera and I’m going to try to remember to take note of things I find beautiful or interesting AND to take pictures of things I find beautiful or interesting.  So here are my pictures for the day

 

 

 

My glittery pink nails (only my left hand turned out and I was forced to strip the right hand fingernails.  I’m only glittery on the left side he he he!)

 

 

 

 

 

 

My self-decorated Starbucks mug filled with morning tea. I cut the pictures out of Australian Dance Magazine and it makes me happy when I look at it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The back of my magazine.  I love this picture, even though it’s an advertisement, I just think it’s beautiful.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A selfie I took displaying my Mom’s engagement ring, a gift to my father from his father to give to my mother when my parents wanted to get married many years ago (and subsequently a warning that, despite what they said in the 80’s a girl can, in fact, have too much blue eyeshadow). I find it beautiful. and it makes me think warm thoughts about my grandfather and my parents. I just started wearing it recently. I think I’m a little homesick…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A picture someone else took of me while I was having fun last weekend on the lyra with rock star violinist.

 

 

 

 

 

And last but not a picture, the quote Paulo Coehlo put up as his facebook status today :”The light of love flows out of one’s soul, but often it goes nowhere because it’s blocked by pain.”

What did you find beautiful/interesting today? How do you get yourself out of a rut?

Day Off

and this is what I’m doing 🙂 Wearing a face mask, cleaning and working on the whole packing and organizing thing and trying out new running fashion. Hey everyone else can rock the leggings and long flowy tank top and I always felt like it wasn’t flattering on me so I’m giving it a shot.

I think I’m inspired by the fact that I am uninspired by working out and yet also feeling fat and ugly and trapped in my body. So instead of dwelling on that and trying to power through p90x when I don’t want to I’m not going to.  I took an extra rest week last week because I couldn’t fit the dvd workouts into my busy week with Dan’s parents here and other comittments.  All I did was run or power-walk last week. And now I feel chubby and unkempt but also unmotivated. Yesterday I couldn’t bring myself to run, I feel clunky and heavy so I went for a 2 hour power-walk to clear my head and stretch out my legs.  It helped. But I still feel weighted down.  and I don’t want to do push ups and squats and lunges for the Core Synergistic DVD but I have to do something, something to make me feel good about myself, I need to find a way to feel good inside my body. So I’m just going to go for a run, in my running clothes and see how that feels and go from there. Then, if I can, I’ll do Core. Any advice?

 

Hey Y’all!!

Just a quick update!  The insomnia was just for the night apparently, thankfully! Last night I slept like a baby, the kind that sleep through the night without a necessary diaper change or feeding – which is no baby I’ve ever known except for my betsy wetsy when I purposefully dehydrated her for the night.  In other words, I was a log all night and I feel much better today!

Yesterday was a beautiful sunny day in Singapore and I was off work so  Dan and his family and I all headed to the Changi War (WWII) Museum and Chapel and then went on to explore Pulau Ubin (which I’ve written about before, it’s a really cute island you can bike ride around for the day or hike as we did).  The Museum is small but packed with information. As a westerner, I forget that nearly ever country, big or small, was involved in that war.  Singapore was still under British rule and many British, Australian, Malay, Indian and Chinese were imprisoned and tortured during Japanese occupation of Singapore.

I didn’t bring my camera because I forgot to charge the battery.  I blame it on the insomnia and possibly the late night Skittles. Dan’s mom bought me this adorable purse that I’m already using today 🙂 I’m spoiled!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

We ended the night having drinks at Raffles and then dinner at Chijmes.  If you’re not familiar with Singapore these are the places you have to visit as a tourist.  Raffles is a hotel named after some important General and the hotel had a bartender who created Singapore Slings to get the ladies wasted and ultimately, get laid.  It’s a beautiful story and it’s a bright pink drink! Chijmes used to be a church that is now a hotspot for nice restaurants.  It’s covered in pretty white twinkle lights which is why I like it. That’s where this picture was taken 🙂

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Today, even though the fam is still visiting I had some things to get done and while I have been enjoying not really working out much (3 runs last week was all I did) I start to feel crappy when I regularly skip workouts. Besides last week can count as my rest week and this week can be my week 3 of phase 2 for p90x… to make this explaination a little shorter I really wanted to get a workout in today. I feel better overall when I do. So I stayed home while Dan took the peeps to Universal Studios today and I did some fruit grocery shopping (necessary), got in my Core Synergistics workout and finally made time to stop at Orchard for these.

They were out of Sunbutter and they are the only place here I’ve found that carries Sunbutter. And yes, everything is going to be backwards this post because I’m just using Photobooth on my Mac. I’m lazy. So I had to settle for soybutter, but, again, no one else carries soybutter except Brown Rice Paradise!  I had to get both because I don’t want to have to come back and we’re moving in less then 6 weeks!  To where… we don’t know. A story for another day but keep your fingers crossed and send us your good vibes.  and your Sunbutter…

 

 

 

I also picked up an unsweetened bar of baking chocolate. Why? Well, I’ve been trying out ways to satisfy my nightly need for dessert. I can be brilliantly lady-like and healthy all day. But before I go to sleep I really want something delicious – cookie dough balls, white chocolate chips, 1/3 of my loaf of banana bread (last night), a whole container of skittles. And I don’t really feel bad because I’m not gaining weight but I know I’m not contributing to my health in most instances and why spend money and consume something if you feel like you have to compensate for it by working out or dieting or something. Not that I really feel that way but you catch my drift? If it does absolutely nothing for my body I don’t think I should be consuming it.

Chocolate has antioxidents and beneficial properties.  And I read that it can be very delicious unsweetened I just haven’t tried it. and I’m all for consuming things in their purest form (cocoa nibs are delicious but really expensive.  This bar was 4.50 SGD.  A bag of chocolate chips here in Singa is anywhere between 7 and 15 bucks.  ick).  I also put a bunch of a grapes in the freezer to try for dessert.  I’ll tell you how it goes.

 

 

 

 

I’ve been having some health issues that I’m not sure how to address.  I had been diagnosed with IBS years ago and I constantly have digestive problems – painful bloating, alternating diarrhea and constipation, stomach cramps, along with other things – frequent headaches, fatigue, foggy headedness.  These are symptoms of a lot things according to google.  I had a blood panel done last year and while my hormones are ALL low, they’re still at the very bottom of the normal range so the doc wasn’t worried. I thought several times that maybe a Celiac test would be beneficial but it seems sometimes gluten makes me really bloated and sick and sometimes it doesn’t.  Then I’ll have a totally gluten free couple days and I get the same bloated crap or a migraine or chronic nausea that I can’t get past.  WTF right? So last night I looked up Candida symptoms and I seem to have a lot of those EXCEPT I don’t have chronic yeast infections (or any at all), no skin irritations, no thrush or mouth yeast problems.  Just the terrible sugar and carb cravings and the other digestive and head symptoms. Hmm

So I’m at a loss. I’ve been vegan and raw before but not for a while.  And I kind of noticed a lot of people suffering from these things ARE vegans but that could be coincidental. I don’t mean to be a hypochondriac complainer it’s just that I truly believe sickness should be an occasional thing that we’re meant to feel vibrant and energetic at least 75% of the time not just like every so often.

What do you think?

Well I’m off to finish a few chores up before meeting up with Dan and friends!

Positivity

Ask Dan. I’ve been a black cloud lately.  I’ve mentioned it a few times already. Believe me, I know I’m no treat right at this moment.

Even so I woke up this morning after a very long day yesterday and a very short night of sleeping and knew, KNEW I had to find the energy to get my workout in before work was over. If I didn’t I was sure it wouldn’t happen and I just can’t keep skipping workouts. I workout for my figure but also for my brain, that regular release of endorphins does me good especially when I’m blue.  Plus, I like having constants and committments in my life (coffee and working out are my favorite choices. and Dan. Dan is my choice) So I tried my aforementioned tactics.  This time I told myself (after a large coffee of course) that I had “so much energy I just HAVE to work it out somehow or I’ll run around like a crazy person” and when I started to feel really fatigued between sets I pretended I was so hyped up I couldn’t stay still and did jumping jacks to “burn off some of this extra energy”.  AND you better believe it worked!  I did Ab Ripper at 9:30am, then I split Legs and Back into two parts so I could do it in between my sets.  All of this was done before 1:30pm.  Boo. Ya! and by that time I really did have extra energy.  So sing it with me now “what am I going to do with all this extra energy?!!!”  It helps, truly.  “Act as if” if my new religion. Act as if – I love my job, I love my thighs, I have too much energy, I’m not a big fan of french fries, I always get my way… this works for so many things.  Hmmm, I think there was a book written about this.  Come to think of it, do I sound kind of like the just read “The Secret” or “The Law of Attraction”? I never actually read The Secret, but a long time ago I read “The Law of Attraction”. I may have made a few wise cracks along the lines of “I know I’m going to have a million dollars and D cup boobs. I just know it!” . Well you win this one Universe.  I have asked and I have recieved. Energy that is, and the ability to work out when I woke up exhausted and cranky.  30X er, 90X is on track!! Yay me

Positivity is, like so many things in life, something you can cultivate if you don’t find that it comes naturally (in my opinion of course).  I would say, generally I’m a pretty positive person but there have been some outside influences that have really changed me for the better.

I have a favorite part of my week that I haven’t really told you about before.  I text message more then I call, I’m not much of a phone person and I’m a huge efficiency person. I find texting to be more efficient then talking on the phone 90% of the time.  I also (not very efficiently) love to save texts.  Sometimes it’s so I remember the data that’s conveyed but more often then not it’s just sentimental.  This is nothing new I’ve been saving texts for years, often putting off getting a new phone so I didn’t have to lose certain special texts. But at least once a week I run out of space for messages on my phone and I get to go through and clean them out.  This is a huge shot of positivity in my day.  My inbox is full of fun, sexy, beautiful, loving and funny texts from Dan.  We text a lot. A lot, a lot, like multiple times each day – somedays less but every single text is positive. We argue sometimes, of course (see above how I am not a treat this week), but I’ve never ever gotten an angry or agressive or insulting text from Dan.  When we disagree we disagree in person 🙂 So whenever my inbox is full I get to got through all my texts and choose which ones to keep and which ones to part with and regardless of my choices re-reading all the texts from the week (and some I’ve saved for months) is a reminder of love and positivity and how to treat those you love with kindness, affection, silliness and all the important qualities that are so important to preserve in EVERY relationship you have. I feel extra lucky and if I was feeling blue or cranky towards Dan reading those texts reminds me how lucky I am (and ups D’s chance of getting lucky later that night…)

Another positive reminder I have (that will similarly make you puke) is on my computer.  Months ago Dan had one of his best friends from home visit. One night I met them out after I was done with work.  Unbeknownst to me a picture was taken of Dan and I and when his friend left she changed my desk top wallpaper as a surprise when I next opened my computer.  This is the picture she took and it’s still my wallpaper:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I didn’t know that’s how we looked at each other but I’ve never felt so loved. It’s candid and unposed and I adore it. And every time I see it I’m reminded of lucky I am, how lucky we are. and how cool Dan’s friend Nicola is (you sneaky lady you!)

I know that you can’t take these things for granted – love, affection, humor, time spent together, good friends, kindness. It’s easy for people to treat each other poorly, to take each other for granted, to say cruel things when their angry, to shut people out. It’s a gift every time that doesn’t happen. And so, although I don’t believe it’s wrong to vent, or too allow yourself to feel bad or sad or angry when you are, I am so fortunate to have these awesome things in my life and to have constant reminders. I feel like I have a good habits, like our relationship has good habits of communication and love. And habits are so hard to break…

Why I May Consider Botox…(and other weird anecdotes)

I’m back on the horse.

I don’t know why it’s been such a struggle to get my workouts done lately, but they’re getting done. I’m conjuring the words of a friend from times past ” Don’t think, just do”, thank you, Travis.  I don’t think these are words to apply to everything but often I use them as my mantra for workouts – I don’t want to do this yoga pose “don’t think, just do”, I’m shaky and want to curl up and take a nap instead of Ab Ripper X “don’t think just do”. It works for many things, haircuts, standing in line at the DMV.  But sometimes it doesn’t work. And when it doesn’t I try this little performers gem “fake it till you make it” which is why many people will see me grinning like an idiot while doing Ab Ripper X and then Chest SHoulder Tricep on the floor in the bathroom at work.  Why, you ask? I will be doing my best to trick my brain into thinking I ADORE working out in between sets in the bathroom.  Scientists (though I’m not sure exactly which ones so I can’t quote them) have found that the physical act of smiling can help to change your actual mood.  Facial expressions can affect your mood. Which is why botox’d babes report less anger (or so I read in Gretchen Rubin’s “The Happiness Project”, which I recommend btw) because they physically can’t make angry faces.  Score one for Botox! That’s the first positive I’ve ever read about it but there might be something to it. And if not everyone thinks you’re a little bit crazy for smiling like you’re a resident at the funny farm and will treat you really really gently 🙂

As an update, this really did work for me today (I wrote the blog above this morning at work to kind of get me in the mind set). I started the day feeling depleted of energy (for no apparent reason since I only left bed/dan’s side yesterday to 1. pee 2. get coffee 3. get food.  I should have been bouncing of the walls but instead I woke up feeling like the wall had bounced off me for 48 hours.)  But I smiled while trying to get through Ab Ripper and when I started “the workout from Hell” ie. Chest Shoulder Tri I may have given out a few battle cries and said, out loud “my god, I have so much energy today!!” and after the first few shaky moves I felt like I did have energy.  and now I feel like I kicked some serious Tony Horton and exhaustion ass. Mind. Over. Matter. or more accurately facial expressions over mind.

Unsupervised

This is what happens when I end up with a day off and Dan has to work.

An unsupervised off day…

Started at work anyway.  I met Dan for coffee even though it meant going to work, because I love his face and god help me I can’t quit the habit 🙂

Despite my resolution to grow out my hair I gave up the ghost today and let the hair dresser chop away without any direction.  And I have to say I’m a little relieved and scared at the same time.  I like my hair short and it looks better when it’s short simply because I don’t style it and when it’s long it gets pretty unkempt.  But I do want to grow out my hair… so maybe now I will?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I went to the gym, lugging my laptop so I could get my p90x on

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Then I went rogue… shopping for heels, baking supplies and lingerie. I swear I’ve been dropping more $$ on lingerie lately.  I blame the hooker heels I bought. But of course every time I buy lingerie they give me a free face mask so I decided today was my day to try to use one, while reading up on my female muse (TINA FEY!).  Is it just me or am I scaaaary in this mask. Like worse then Jason or Freddie scary.  EEk.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

So I had to watch several episodes of Grey’s Anatomy to cope…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Now I might have to either go find a way to drink coffee (for some reason every time I watch people drinking coffee on tv I crave a hot cup of coffee. Every. Time) or whip up a batch of balls…

Afternoon in Pictures

Enjoy this slide show of my crappy workout – Core Synergistics (I really didn’t feel like I had any energy, one of the worst workouts I’ve ever done.  BUT I did it) and my hair transformation 🙂

Enjoy:

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Shenanigans

I squeezed in a workout that I didn’t think was possible yesterday and now, I’m unstoppable!  During short breaks at work I wrapped a band around a very sturdy window pain in the bathroom, brought my computer in and balanced it on a sink so that I could do P90X Legs and Back in between sets at work.

Crazy? Perhaps.  BADASS?  Of course!

I had short breaks so I split it into two doing the first half of the video, then a set, then the second. Sure I may have scared a few people trying to pee but in the end I stayed on track! Which is important since next week will be mostly on track but I won’t be able to finish the week completely.  Because I DO NOT plan to bring Tony Horton on my romantic vacation with Dan.  He’ll just have to wait until I return (Tony that is)…

I’m feeling better and better. The shows last night and tonight went really well, my workouts are getting done and I’m still finding time to spend with Dan (mostly because he’s willing to “fine dine” at Coffee Bean almost every night) Things are getting ticked off my seemingly endless list of things to do over the next month (okay three months), they always do and everything is always okay. But for some reason I always freak out first.  Ah well, know thyself right?

some of the sex kittens I get to dance with and I at the show last night…I know I’m in desperate need of a tan

Well, thyself has run out of BComplex vitamins and I have found that, as much as I hate to take vitamins (I feel like it’s cheating on food), the B vitamins really make a difference in my energy levels and my ability to concentrate.  Damn.  I guess I’ll be heading to GNC tomorrow. I had been taking prenatal vitamins too in the hopes of growing my hair quicker (and my nails) but I had constant nausea so I’ll have to wait like everyone else for long hair.  Ah well.

 

 

Bluuuuur

Life is a blur at the moment.

Is it trashy to wash your vegetables at work with baby wipes? or eat them off of kleenex?

This week has been a crazy crazy blur. And there’s no point in thinking it’s going to slow down.  I’m going to be hyperventilating into a paper bag until Aug 26 when I leave with Dan for a Thailand vacay (I CAN’T WAIT!!!).  Then we get back August 29th and that night is a very important performance.  I’m going to be performing Ren’s original All I Want at the Singapore Art Salon with the one and only Jason Miller.  I’m so excited. But I’m also rehearsing and performing this week on top of work, finishing a submission for my next job 🙂 and trying to keep my P90X head afloat.  I may have had a mini melt down in front of Dan to which he, in his constant patience, waited until I was finished panicking and told me it’d be okay and we talked about the time line of the next week or so. And of course I felt much better.

Yesterday I had a million things to do and at one point during the day I thought “I might have to let P90X go for a few weeks” I felt that familiar panic, like I’m going to lose my body, my identity, my career if I miss a few weeks of working out.  But at some point as I’m trying to secure future employment and living my current employment plus extra curriculars that hopefully help further my abilities for my future employment I had to consider the possibility that those things outweigh my need to workout.  Arg. But also kind of freeing.  This week working on choreographing a few dance sequences so I could have a finished dance demo reel was important and needed to be given more attention and time then just slapping something together so I could get to Ab Ripper X because without it or without good footage I might not have a job after this.  I know, I’m dramatic, but it seems my priorities sometimes are wack.  So I came to terms with the fact that Tony Horton and I may need a “break” and got to work on my dancing.

The story doesn’t end there though, I finished my demo in record time and still had my lunch hour free… so I did my P90X workout.  I’m still on schedule, I have my demo done and tomorrow, even though I have work a rehearsal and a performance I will have some time in between sets to, most likely, get my scheduled workout in. The moral of this story, though, isn’t get your workout in no matter what. I learned that my workouts have to take a backseat to a select few things.  I always make my workout a priority, and I’m not sorry that it’s important to me.  I like to be fit, feel athletic and capable and probably most importantly, feel confident when I show up at work or at an audition or tell people I am a professional performer.  There’s no way that working out isn’t a real priority for me.   HOWEVER, giving up the idea that not following a schedule to a T will result in utter ruin is an important lesson of the last week.  Even though I still got my workout done yesterday, there are going to be days when I have to choose between a few important things – working out, spending the small amount of free time I have with Dan, getting something done for my career and in the interest of my future (and my future relationship) working out has to be third.

And now, a very rare thing is happening. I’m actually in bed at ten pm.  and as soon as I finish writing this I’m going to bed.  I have been working on demo reels, auditions, rehearsals, updating my website, responding to overdue emails until the wee hours of the morning lately.  Then with every one of my breaks at work spoken for I can tell I’m getting sick from not having any down time.  I did my cardio over my lunch break today and then every other break I chilled.  I need to.

So, send me your good vibes and I’ll send you a good post (soon)!

Also tell me what you’re up to!  Any revelations lately?? Any tips and tricks for prioritizing or fitting it all in?

Want to see more pictures from Zurina Bryant?

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Quick and Dirty Day 3

It’s late (early in the morning actually!), I want to wrap up my thoughts and watch an episode of Entourage with Danny.  BUT I know you’re all dying to know if I DID IT.

I did! I managed, amidst my rock star schedule, to do Ab Ripper X between sets at work and then, over my lunch break I grabbed my computer, Tony Horton, my resistance band and headed outside to a backstage bench that’s randomly on a patch of sidewalk. I worked out trying to pretend that I didn’t notice the utility vehicles passing by and the employee bus passing me every few minutes.  I finished with a flourish, proud of my ability to workout at work and keep my momentum.

So, I’m sunburnt, my core is sore and tomorrow is yoga/cardio day.  Booyah.

Oh and as I was scanning the pics from the last few days, I found a little affirmation.  LOOK AT MY KILLER ABS.  and only week one… yay me 🙂 I have big dreams for these abs, big dreams…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

What are y’all up to??