YES!!!! We made it to the third trimester! Sorry it’s been a long time between posts. I have been BUSY! This life pace has really made the time fly.
I’m nearing the end of my education at Paul Mitchell and when I hit 1250 total school hours I was allowed to start adding extra hours bringing my total to 45 hours of school per week. Its been a hustle that includes some 12 hour days, school on the weekends, squeezing in my workouts and times I spent with Daniel and the puppy completely exhausted. Despite being busy and tired I’m very happy and grateful! My goal had been to finish school before I hit 36 weeks in the pregnancy, just for my own peace of mind. At the rate I’m going I will graduate the day before we turn 35 weeks!
My days now consist of about 4-7 hours of doing hair in one way or another (my clients are mostly blonde clients!)- foiling, cutting, colouring and styling, cosmetology theory work, cleaning my tools and then landing at home tired and trying to find the energy to get a workout in. Workouts have been more scarce but I manage 3-4 days a week. I’ve tried to push that to 5-6, but no go. There are 3 days a week where I leave for school at 8am and get home at 8pm and those days I have not managed to workout at all. Being pregnant and on my feet for most of the day seems to take it out of me. The other hurdle is sleep. I am so ready for bed by the end of the day but I find it difficult to nod off. I toss and turn, I wake up 5-8 times, mostly to pee but often I can’t fall back asleep. Regardless, I’m happy and I seem to have enough energy to function.
I’d be lying if I said being pregnant and seeing the changes in my body and my abilities has been easy. Sometimes I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror or I feel my legs rub together (did I mention it’s been between 100 and 120 degrees here?) and I instantly think some horrible degrading thoughts about myself like “ugh you’ve gone TOO far and let yourself go you gluttonous pig, get your shit together” or “you’re so disgusting, have some control you ugly piece of shit”. So pregnancy has brought to light some of the harmful thought and belief patterns I have that I need to change, NOW. It’s not been comfortable, but I think in the long run this is exactly the work I’ve needed to do. Is that really what I believe? That I’m a “piece of shit” because I gained weight or I’m not following a strict diet? And horrifyingly, do I think less of others too? Is my value system so skewed and so black and white? No, its not. But I’ve been actively changing those thoughts and self-talk. I certainly don’t want to pass that on to my child and at the end of the day, I’m somebody’s child too. If I heard someone else say that about themselves it’d bring tears to my eyes and I’d want to hug them. So, since I’ve been super busy with school and spending what little time I have with my husband and my dog and preparing for our baby, I’ve been actively kinder and gentler with myself. If I really don’t have the energy to workout after a 12 hour day, its ok, I relax and think about how every season is temporary. I will not be pregnant forever and I will not be in school forever. I want to enjoy as many moments in this pregnancy as possible and I focus on that. I may not love that my butt is too big for most of my clothes but I LOVE feeling the baby move from the inside! It’s incredible. and I love daydreaming with Daniel about our future and what the baby’s personality will be and what we will all do together. I love talking to the women at school who are mothers and listening to their different experiences. So really, there is a lot I love about being pregnant and I focus on that as much as possible.