I often have very vivid and intense dreams. My dream life is nearly as dynamic as my awake life. I wish I’d had the forethought to keep a dream journal since childhood but alas, no forethought.
Las night my dream was very detailed, but it’s starting to fade away. I’d had an accident and went on a cruise with my best friend Melanie and her family and my husband. And it was understood that I had to perform on the cruise but everyone was worried that I couldn’t. No one had told me what would happen to me after the “accident” although I don’t know what the accident was. I looked the same I do now but I was younger, I know I was younger because I wasn’t thinking like 34 year old me, I was thinking like I did when I was 18- mid twenties. Things were difficult and I could barely move my legs. I got up from the table and fell flat on the ground. They then told me that after my accident I was supposed to be paralysed but they hadn’t told me because they thought it would break my spirit. I was only partially shattered, I didn’t believe that could happen. So I tried and woodenly I could feel a little bit, I could walk a little bit but holding on to things to hold me up. How was I going to perform? I slowly made my way to the aerial gym and I worked my way up to a lyra and hung on it, but the lyra turned into silks material (so it wasn’t solid) and the mats built up under me until i had no room to hang under it. There were tons of people around training on different apparatus (theres no way an amazing training room like this would fit on a cruise ship) and I was struggling to get my brain to work my legs but they were working.
I woke up frustrated and confused. But relieved that I could still use my legs and thankful for all my faculties. I am very lucky especially with how cavalier I’ve been with body throughout my life. And to top it off today is one beautiful day after a string of freeing cold days. It’s sunny and feels like spring (even though we are still at the beginning of winter). So to celebrate I’m going for a jog.