I’m sick. I’m full of mucous, I think I’m comprised of 85% mucous right now. I’ve got a fever, I’m having restless nights. But I’m not busy during the days and it’s driving me nuts to be able to rest. I’m tired and feel like shit but I also feel like shit because I have nothing I HAVE to do until work at night. So for the third day in a row I sat with my also sick puppy in my lap, curled up on the couch until afternoon and then I have to sweat. I feel chubby and out of shape and sick and awful. What do you do when you’re sick? most people my age have to work and take care of children.
Waaah waaah wahh right? I have to set a plan. Will I lose weight if I eat the same thing everyday so I don’t have the option to eat anything else? Will it help if I run 5 miles every morning except Sunday, do abs 3xs a week, do hot yoga 4xs a week and eat no more than 1200 calories a day? That actually sounds solid to me and I just free-wrote that. I thought about going to P90x but I don’t want to bulk up again. I want to get smaller, smaller, smaller. Which may sound terrible to other people. But I’m tired of getting turned down for jobs because I’m not fit enough or SMALL enough. I have big legs and yes I’m genetically predisposed. But I haven’t worked hard enough to change that. I don’t think skinny is best or that smaller is better. But I want to be smaller than I am now. And I know I can be I just haven’t worked hard enough.
And I am going back to school on Jan 16th but instead of flaming out because I have too much going on, I’m going to part time school so I can dance and sing for work, workout and take care of my family life too. That is my plan. Wow, that came out easier than I thought. But now to just do it.
What will I eat? I need it simple because I get overwhelmed really easily. What about this:
Monday – Saturday is always the same:
Breakfast and Lunch – Raw Meal shake with soy milk
Dinner – One of the following vegan option: vegetable sushi, salad with avocado, pumpkin soup or tofu stirfy
Other – coffee, tea, water, 1 banana per day
Sunday Cheat Day. I haven’t had a plan that included a cheat day in years but it really helped me with structure before and also not plateauing from too low a calories. A once a week calorie spike can be helpful.
I’m not going to lie – 5 miles every day but Sunday is really ambitious. but right now I’m lingering at beginner fitness level – a 3 miler somedays, a beach bodies dvd, one yoga class as my workout for the day. I’m letting myself be beginner instead of pushing myself to be better and it’s bleeding into the rest of my life. I can do anything I just have to want it enough. I’ve wanted it to be easy this year. I was hoping to find a way to be naturally athletic, just not have to work for it. I looked around and felt like most people don’t have to work for it as much as I have. But that’s not true, that’s lazy and childish. I wanted to be lazy so I was. But the consequences, I didn’t like very much. So now I’m doing something about it.
I just finished Ab Ripper x so I guess it’s time to run 5 miles….