Where Was I?
I keep losing my way from this blog, but getting pulled back one way or another. On one hand…I’m not sure what to write about. But yet again this week someone has taken the time to write me about reading my blog and so I feel like perhaps it’s something I should be working on. But what about? What am I about anymore?
I do still love fitness but not in the try anything sort of way I used to. I’m tired a lot and working doing something I love (performing) which means that fitness has to fit into that. Most of the things I did before didn’t bring me a better relationship with my body. I often had and still have anxiety over whether I’m going to get to big for my clothes if I do resistance, weights or hell, even bodyweight exercises. I know everyone says women don’t have the hormones but I’ve bulked up to the point of me not feeling good and not wanting to continue so whatever science says it doesn’t pertain to how I personally feel. Which means I’ve been in a constant state of trying to work out in a way to break down my muscle and lose fat. this is exhausting emotionally. All I could think to do was run long distance and do yoga. Which I love both things, so that’s cool. Then I broke my ankle. So running was out for a while. And my weight since leaving Australia has been out of my comfort zone. And I’ve been messing with food idealogies. For a while attempting to do high raw high carb vegan diet, then just cooked food just at night, then when that seemed to puff me up but good, I switched to daily 24 hour ish fasts. Which seemed to drain me. I felt more svelte and like I’d lost weight so the being hungry all day until my night time meal felt worth it for a while. but I was still the same weight for weeks, then months. So why put off eating all day if I’m not going to see a change in my body? So I did a lot of research on what’s going on in my body and it seems that very possibly I’m dealing with a soy intolerance (as vegan me was consuming liters of soymilk a day) and possibly celiac or an intolerance to wheat. Oh and right before this discovery I was cleared to run so I picked running back up..hoooray!
So as of 2 weeks ago I cut out all grains, all starch, all soy. For the first few days I kept fruit and dried fruit in and stayed away from dairy but after researching ketogenics and low carb high fat again, I cut the fruit completely out and started adding cream to my coffee and some cheese.
It’s an adjustment but one I’ve done before. Trying to wrap my mind around not being vegan is the hardest part always. I love ahimsa, I love not killing anything, I love living off or fruits and vegetables and seeds and tofu…emotionally. I feel like I’m clean and pure. But my body….
In the two weeks that I’ve been eating meat, coconut oil, cheese, green veg, seeds and for a while I was still eating dried and fresh fruit – I’ve lost 3lbs (before my weight just would not budge for the last 8 months no matter what I’d do), am no longer constipated or bloated all the time, my sugar cravings have vanished, I eat 3-4 times a day (as apposed to waiting until dinner time). So I’d say it’s a good way I’m going. My one complaint is that I can’t sleep. I am awake ALL THE TIME. But I think, as I had found out before that a ketogenic diet works wonders on my body even though it feels wierd. For lunch today (I had to miss breakfast as we had a boat drill, a meeting and weigh ins and then a rehearsal) I had 2 hamburger patties with cucumber salad and raw celery on the side. That’s like a million calories and so much food for lunch but, it’s what I’ve been eating and if I keep losing a little and feeling good, well then I guess I can’t argue with that.
As for workouts…um, I need a plan. I don’t know if running all the time with the random yoga and ab workout is good enough? sometimes it feels like too much with the shows and aerial rehearsals. I took a complete rest day yesterday but I’m wondering if working out in some form 6 days a week is actually keeping me from losing weight and feeling good. SOmetimes my legs feel fatigued for a week when I don’t do any leg exercises other then just running, elliptical and walking. I avoid weights, lunges and squats like the plague. Should I take a full week off of workouts and see if my body likes the break? I’m considering it, especially since I’ve only got a few weeks left of my contract and when we leave I have ample time to workout. But will I get chubby and unkempt if I don’t work out?
The other thing I”m considering is a 3 day max workout schedule. Give my body more recovery and more down time. Plus we have a few shows so it’s not like I’m not working at all. But a lot of my time in between shows and workouts is sitting reading, walking around leisurely or sitting whilst knitting. So sedentary!
Has anyone had positive changes from working out less? Like 3 days a week max?