Letting the Number Go
I never would have believed it but…
This is the product of me eating more, resting more, and just carrying on with workouts. I can see a huge muscular and definition difference between today and just a week ago and these pictures were taken today, on cheat day, after a pretty massive cheat. I decided to still do my workout and wow, I may keep friday cheat days just for the strength and energy I had during my Legs and Back workout! The only real change I made this week was to increase my calories, keep my food pretty clean. I had more carbs then suggested, more fat, and I was low on protein a few days – but I kept increasing my calories – i.e. food intake. and I wasn’t eating when not hungry. My appetite has increased. I’d be worried but the proof is in the chin ups – 9 from a dead hang tonight. I’ll take it, as I need 8-10 for the audition next weekend. I’m not even going to step on the scale because my weight isn’t part of this equation this time, my strength abilities are. So if the weight is going up, so be it, as long as the pull ups/chin ups keep going up, i’ll take the kilos too. Worry about dropping pounds if necessary later, when I have the job I want and can worry about fitting in the wedding dress more then paying for it.
This is a huge shift for me. I have worried about my weight since I was 8 years old. But this is the benefit I’m finding in getting older. For me, in my career and my life right now, performance is actually more important then look or a number on a scale – and I can actually understand that and let the number go. I finally want something more then I want to be “skinny”. It’s a nice feeling. and also terrifying. but mostly nice 🙂
Think beastly thoughts for me please….