Today is a yoga and abs day and it’s the first day in a while I knew I didn’t have to rush. I was feeling lazy as I pulled myself out of my bed and drank some green tea. I was trying to decide whether to change around my schedule and do a run day or not. Oh decisions. Yoga doesn’t feel like I’ve worked out so I thought a run would since I had a rest day yesterday (I was BEAT). But I knew I had to do abs today if I wanted to get my 3 days of abs in. Abs are not that time consuming. Twice a week I do 5 sets of 20 lying down leg raises and a 2 minute plank or if I’m fatigued 2, 1 min planks – I call this Abs2. It was an Abs 2 day as I AbRipped on Monday. So I set to doing those and I was bored. I wanted to just bust out a 40 min HIIT on the treadmill because it’s brainless and I can watch Grey’s Anatomy. But since that sounded like the easy option I knew it was time to up the intensity on my HIIT. But I also haven’t actually done a run this week so I need to do a long run. Today wasn’t the day for that, it was going to rain and my heart wasn’t in it. So I pulled out my longest running yoga download that I hadn’t tried yet. I love Tara Stiles. I know there’s some controversy over her. When I first read about her I scoffed – super model teaching yoga? That seems to take the idea of yoga right out of the practice. But I downloaded her podcasts because they were free. The very first one I did I fell in love with her style. Yeah she’s a super model and doing yoga is not going to make me look related even if I practiced 23 hours a day. But that’s not why I do yoga anyway. I just love her demeaner, I love her combinations, she seems so easy and unpretentious in her own body. It’s simple. So I finally bought, on iTunes, her new yoga collaboration with Deepak Chopra. I also love his work, even though I poo poo’d it for the longest time. It seemed too self-helpy for my taste. A friend sent me a book 2 years ago and boom, it was love. So I was excited to try out the yoga she created with his direction but I’ve been spoiled and only have been doing 20-40 minute programs or, when I’m really rushed, 5-12 minute podcasts. This is a 50 minute one.
I loved it, I totally recommend it. I expected an intro but it just gets straight into the practice without a word otherwise! The music was really nice too. It was a really even flow but challenged my legs a bit, allowed me to work into all my tight spots but it wasn’t so challenging I wanted to give up. I just like Tara’s aura, she’s pretty no nonsense, anti-glamour and I just feel at ease. Actually I guess I feel happiness, like a lightness about life in general.
Try it out if you dare. It’s not for crazy advanced yogi’s looking to bend and twist and balance in all new ways. It’s straight forward and flows really well. I liked it, I think I’ll be doing it again soon.
I will say though, I don’t truly understand my body. As Dan put it today, I’m shrinking. And while, in all honesty this is what I always wanted, I don’t understand why. I’ve fought with my body for a long long time. And lately I just kind of stopped. I found a bit of a routine with my food that allows me to just eat when I’m hungry as much as I need until I’m not hungry. I don’t diet. I don’t work out intensely like I used to. And now, I’ve just, shrunk. I’m at what used to be my silly little “goal weight” that in hindsight isn’t really much different from any other weight I’ve ever been at. There are minor differences – my boobs are smaller, my legs fit slightly easier in my skinny jeans, my face looks slightly more angular. But all that’s pretty slight. I really do see, with the gift of age, that I was fretting over ounces, smidgens, minor details. I worry sometimes that I’m not working out hard enough – I’m pretty relaxed, yoga, abs, some intervals, nothing big and sweaty. I eat like a trojan – Dan’s words! and instead of being mortified, I’m quite proud, I can eat him under the table! Most nights after dinner I end up eating nearly 2 cups (2 bowls, one right after another) of oatmeal with soymilk and a cup or two of fruit, usually about 10 minutes before my head hits the pillow. It’s not on purpose I just have been so hungry before I go to sleep. And often I’ll wake up ready for breakfast. Here I am nearly thirty and my appetite resembles nothing of my skipping breakfast, low cal, protein bar, egg white nibbling, fearful life of my under 28 year old days. I was rigid and I worked out like a machine on top of an active job. And I never felt as happy, light, easy as I do now. I wish I could share this with the younger girls but I know people tried to help me and I just wasn’t ready, I didn’t understand yet. I’m just now starting too.
I used to feel like my soul was so light and free and it was so burdened and held down by my heavy body. And today I was thinking about how I feel lighter, freer in my body – and you know what my soul feels grounded, solid, in a very positive way.