Burning Question

I read Danielle LaPorte’s blog regularly. I really enjoy her positive, progress related, joyful life centered approach. On days when the seemingly endless audition/submission/rejection/self-flagellation cycle proves to wear me down I check in with Danielle LaPorte. My Dad used to remind me when I worried about being a smart as all the normal public school kids that the most important part of education wasn’t learning as much as possible (you forget most of what you learned in highschool anyway- calculus what?), it was learning how to find the resources you need for whatever you’re doing.  It was learning how to locate and use information. Truer words may never have been spoken to my anxiety prone ears. His advice has served me well through adulthood and this blog is a resource for me when I just need to get out of my own way. Lately, she started an interactive “Answer the Burning Question” daily and I like to attempt it every few days or so. Here is todays post, perhaps you’d like to answer it for yourself – “ANSWER THE BURNING QUESTIONwhat would you like to stop doing?”

Here’s my answer; I’d like to stop thinking constantly that I messed up my career, my life and my relationship by not auditioning for more, being a better dancer, taking the wrong jobs, not taking enough dance classes, not being good enough, not working hard enough, putting to much emphasis on relationships that weren’t right and trying to be less fat. I’d like to stop believing that I committed the unpardonable crime of not doing something great and worthwhile with my passion for the arts before I was too old to be good or great at anything because then I could stop anxiously looking to “make” the job that would pardon that crime because it’d prove I was “talented” and “good” and not a waste. I’d like to stop feeling so guilty for making all the choices that seemed right at the time. Because, they must have been or I would not have made them.

I’d also like to stop waking up 12 times during the night to go to the bathroom. I believe then, with adequate sleep achieving my aforementioned goals would be a little bit easier.

What would you like to stop doing?

I know one thing I don’t want to start doing – taking my precious time with Dan for granted. Every day with him just reinforces that I must have made good decisions somewhere because I ended up meeting Dan in Singapore, a direct result of the myriad career and relationship choices oddly enough. I can’t imagine a life without him and I don’t want to.

We had so much fun in Auckland. And since we’re trying to hang on to every penny of our savings accounts until we get jobs we didn’t do much touristy stuff but really we’re just lucky because we love each others company. I’ll let the pictures do the talking but man, it was fun. Auckland is gorgeous, the perfect combo of city life and island attitude. The water is so clean and beautiful the people are laid back and friendly. Paradise.

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About Coco

Dancer, performer, cosmetologist and now first time mum. I spent my life traveling the world as a performer. Now, the next chapter is unfolding...

Posted on March 13, 2012, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. 2 Comments.

  1. i’m beyond in love with this post because i was nodding my head in agreement for SO much of it!!! i’ll try not to make it an epic comment, but i do the same thing and i want to just stop feeling like i’m not ‘doing enough’ of like i’m not achieving enough. i know my goals are diff than yours but that guilt monger is always on my shoulder…lol. oh, and omg, the 12 times a night bathroom runs, i honestly cited that today and it drives me mad!!

    but it’s AWESOME u had a blast on ur trip….i hope i can visit one day too. 🙂

  2. thanks cait! That makes me feel so less alone. you seem so successful in your career so it really proves it’s just insecurity. guilt monger is a good term 🙂 Perhaps we can just decide that since we both have each others support, that we’ll stop thinking that. Stop. We’re doing stuff, we’re working hard, the past is unchangeable and almost always was important anyway even though it’s hard to tell.
    Maaaan, I know if I didn’t eat and drink before I went to bed I wouldn’t need to use the bathroom as much but when i don’t eat before bed I can’t sleep because I’m HANGRY. I’ve got to find a new system!!

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