Damage Control

I’m having a hard time letting go of things lately. Like my expectations, the past, unrealistic body image and diet coke.  Somedays (like today) I wake up and have stacked the odds against myself. I went to bed late after drinking 2 20oz diet cokes (yeah, one of those right before going to bed). I’ve been doing bodyrock, hiking, I ran, dance classes. I woke up today, really late, puffy and my legs feel gigantic. not just feel, I measured, they are bigger. Now that is a result of poor planning. I’ve been limiting diet coke so I don’t know why I wanted a million gallons of it yesterday. All the dancing, lunges and legwork beef out my legs and I know it. I shouldn’t be using weight when I squat, I should be stretching more. I don’t know that I should be running at all (but I want TO). I’ve been indulging my chocolate chip obsession this week like no other. All of this is secondary, no not even, all of this is waaaay less important then the main issues that I have no immediate control over (the expectation bits – things I don’t want to explain right now) so, of course the PAST would dictate that I freak out over things like thigh circumfrence and food to counteract that lack of control feeling. But not this time, not going to work this time. I’m almost 30, now I get to decide who’s in charge and it’s not that ugly little voice saying I’m fat. Honey, I out rank you.  I’m freaking Katherine Hepburn, I’m Lauren Bacall bitches. I’m Betty White dammit! No one tells Betty her thighs are holding her back. No one tells Serena Williams that her calves are too big. No one tells Crista that she can’t have gigantor thighs and still be happy and successful – actually no one tells me I have gigantor thighs but me.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Workout:

Bodyrock Sexy Back workout (Day 4 Week 2) – I’m following the 30 day workout challenge but I don’t bodyrock 5 days a week, more like 3 or 4 when they fit in my schedule. I still do them in order. I’m really liking them as they push me to do stuff I’ve stayed away from for a while for fear of bulking up (hmm). They make me sweat and it had been a while since I sweat during a workout!

Day 1 Visual Impact – this is my low rep high weight (but I use a band for most exercises) strength routine via Rusty at Fitness Black Book. It’s 4 weighted moves done 5 reps 5 times and then low leg raises (20 reps 5 times) and planks.  It’s supposed to then include HIIT cardio but I have been skipping it lately. Bodyrock seems to do the trick for HIIT. I like this routine but it’s boring.  I do think my upper body is getting stronger without adding the bulk that P90X (and aerial work) did.

30 minutes on the treadmill, walking – my legs, they’re bigger today and they feel tight and all pumped up so I just walked, with long strides and stretched out too.

I seriously don’t know what to do about my legs. I shudder at the thought of greasing up to put on my jeans tomorrow but I’m seriously at a loss. It seems no matter the amount of stretching my hamstrings are tight and painful. They refuse to relax. It’s not just vanity (although, admittedly some of it is), I am in pain a lot and I feel limited by the tightness and bulk of them. I’m not going to stop all activity to atrophy my legs so…what are my options? There’s gotta be something….please tell me its not the chocolate