Today – Day 3 – on lessons and laughter

I woke up today a little remorsefull of eating so much last night. I was still full and D wanted to go to breakfast together since we had a later call time for work. I loved hanging out with him last night. We laughed and enjoyed ourselves fully. and I have been striving to enjoy my day to days without regret or chastisement or harshness towards myself. NO matter what I eat or how I workout I am still worthwhile, I am still lovely and have the ability to be happy, ecstatic even. I aim to banish those guilty thoughts and feelings completely, that’s been my goal for the past year, to find a sustainable lifestyle that is joyful, healthy and NOT RIGID. So when my good friend Carrie posted a comment on how I needed to eat, that I wasn’t feeding my body, I took heed. She’s been a good friend for a long time now and she’s a smokin’ hot fitness babe, she’s legit basically. I realized I still have a spirit of deprivation, of earning satisfaction (ie. starve all day and then can have chocolate chips), of restriction. I can get into more detail in the future but I was anorexic at one point in time and while that was a long long time ago, I find that I tend to self sooth or assuage guilt with denying myself food. Coffee all day so I don’t have to feel bad about eating dinner does not an athlete make. This is only DAY 3 of my 30 day challenge and I realize I feel guilty about eating more then once a day! So the moral of this story is, if you are feeling bad about yourself, feeling that maybe everyone else around you has it all figured out, they don’t. I am a normal, college educated, gainfully employed, fully functioning fitness freak who is working on finding a balance, working to find what works for me in the long run. And while I have found that mojo before, it would appear that I have hit a blip in the road, again. You see, I actually have no idea how much I eat and how much I burn. I would wager that it varies wildly from day to day, from week to week.  I do not want to live with measuring cups and calorie counts for very long. I want to be free of that ONCE AND FOR ALL. I fully believe life is meant to be enjoyed, for the good food, good wine, good friends and lovers, beautiful experiences. and I intend to have it all… muahahahahaha!  So I’m going to try to relax a little, keep some perspective and eat when I’m hungry without judging it one way or another.  PERSPECTIVE CRISTA PERSPECTIVE!!

As for my food and exercise today, it was a brilliant day! I wasn’t hungry at breakfast unfortunately so I nibbled at half a piece of wheat toast with avocado and took two bites of my scrambled eggs. But the skim latte I finished (a girl has her priorities!) Diz helped me though by munching on my eggs 🙂 a couple hours later though at work I felt really hungry so I got the two healthiest choices I could find at 7-11.
Yes, that would be Soyabean Milk (I’m in Asia, so regular soy milk isn’t standard) and dried mango. I meant to just munch on them but I finished them both off! he he he! so that would be my lovelies, 600 calories in one go!

D and I met after work at the gym for a change because we both wanted to work out and knew if we went home after work first it wouldn’t happen. It was really nice! I did a HIIT workout on the treadmill and was pouring down sweat after 30 minutes! It’s usually so hard for me to find the motivation for sprints (maybe the mango helped) but I was encouraged just by having D milling about the gym 🙂 Yay for partner workouts! And the best part is that since he was still going strong after my run, I snuck in 16 minute Ab Ripper X of P90X. Abs and a run… booyah! Then we headed home and made his and hers salads, his idea, no joke! Usually I have to try to feed him some of my salad but since he just started his workout CRAZE he’s all about the salads! His had salmon and pepperoni and olives… a real antipasto salad! Mine had sunflower seeds, mozzerella cheese and mushrooms. He finished the bottle of wine from last night. I feel really really good! I’m still a little hungry so I might have a some of the Yogi Granola Crisps from yesterday with my favorite Honey Vanilla Chamomile Tea (Twinings, it’s fab!). No chocolate chips though, I think I’m a little spent on sugar. And I have a massive pimple in the middle of my forehead. Sigh.


About evafitness

I fell into fit-love like falling into a well! I started this blog because I realized how much of my day I spent working out, trying new physical activities, reading fitness blogs and the like. Now I'll share my questions, findings and general fitness environment with y'all!!

Posted on May 21, 2011, in 30X, Uncategorized and tagged . Bookmark the permalink. 2 Comments.

  1. have I told you lately that I love you?

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