Today – Day 3 – on lessons and laughter
I woke up today a little remorsefull of eating so much last night. I was still full and D wanted to go to breakfast together since we had a later call time for work. I loved hanging out with him last night. We laughed and enjoyed ourselves fully. and I have been striving to enjoy my day to days without regret or chastisement or harshness towards myself. NO matter what I eat or how I workout I am still worthwhile, I am still lovely and have the ability to be happy, ecstatic even. I aim to banish those guilty thoughts and feelings completely, that’s been my goal for the past year, to find a sustainable lifestyle that is joyful, healthy and NOT RIGID. So when my good friend Carrie posted a comment on how I needed to eat, that I wasn’t feeding my body, I took heed. She’s been a good friend for a long time now and she’s a smokin’ hot fitness babe, she’s legit basically. I realized I still have a spirit of deprivation, of earning satisfaction (ie. starve all day and then can have chocolate chips), of restriction. I can get into more detail in the future but I was anorexic at one point in time and while that was a long long time ago, I find that I tend to self sooth or assuage guilt with denying myself food. Coffee all day so I don’t have to feel bad about eating dinner does not an athlete make. This is only DAY 3 of my 30 day challenge and I realize I feel guilty about eating more then once a day! So the moral of this story is, if you are feeling bad about yourself, feeling that maybe everyone else around you has it all figured out, they don’t. I am a normal, college educated, gainfully employed, fully functioning fitness freak who is working on finding a balance, working to find what works for me in the long run. And while I have found that mojo before, it would appear that I have hit a blip in the road, again. You see, I actually have no idea how much I eat and how much I burn. I would wager that it varies wildly from day to day, from week to week. I do not want to live with measuring cups and calorie counts for very long. I want to be free of that ONCE AND FOR ALL. I fully believe life is meant to be enjoyed, for the good food, good wine, good friends and lovers, beautiful experiences. and I intend to have it all… muahahahahaha! So I’m going to try to relax a little, keep some perspective and eat when I’m hungry without judging it one way or another. PERSPECTIVE CRISTA PERSPECTIVE!!
As for my food and exercise today, it was a brilliant day! I wasn’t hungry at breakfast unfortunately so I nibbled at half a piece of wheat toast with avocado and took two bites of my scrambled eggs. But the skim latte I finished (a girl has her priorities!) Diz helped me though by munching on my eggs 🙂 a couple hours later though at work I felt really hungry so I got the two healthiest choices I could find at 7-11.
Yes, that would be Soyabean Milk (I’m in Asia, so regular soy milk isn’t standard) and dried mango. I meant to just munch on them but I finished them both off! he he he! so that would be my lovelies, 600 calories in one go!
D and I met after work at the gym for a change because we both wanted to work out and knew if we went home after work first it wouldn’t happen. It was really nice! I did a HIIT workout on the treadmill and was pouring down sweat after 30 minutes! It’s usually so hard for me to find the motivation for sprints (maybe the mango helped) but I was encouraged just by having D milling about the gym 🙂 Yay for partner workouts! And the best part is that since he was still going strong after my run, I snuck in 16 minute Ab Ripper X of P90X. Abs and a run… booyah! Then we headed home and made his and hers salads, his idea, no joke! Usually I have to try to feed him some of my salad but since he just started his workout CRAZE he’s all about the salads! His had salmon and pepperoni and olives… a real antipasto salad! Mine had sunflower seeds, mozzerella cheese and mushrooms. He finished the bottle of wine from last night. I feel really really good! I’m still a little hungry so I might have a some of the Yogi Granola Crisps from yesterday with my favorite Honey Vanilla Chamomile Tea (Twinings, it’s fab!). No chocolate chips though, I think I’m a little spent on sugar. And I have a massive pimple in the middle of my forehead. Sigh.