I’ll admit it, I have ADD. My attention is all over the map and when it comes to diet and exercise… it’s more of the same. I know I called in the experts, I know I had a plan. And for the most part I’m sticking to it. But halfway through today I realized I hate dieting, i’ve lost weight since I stopped dieting and the more I think about what I’m supposed to eat or not, the hungrier I get. and the more boring. Diz and I have been dating for 5 months and in those months I ate about 85% whole, vegetarian, what most would call diet foods, while eating bites of his cheesecake, drinking wine or beer a few times a week and eating jelly beans whenever I damn well pleased – which ranges from every day to once a month. In the past week since starting this “diet” of green tea and minimal foods, I’ve “cheated” several times, mostly with dan or just something stupid like, I’d worked 7 hours and needed a snack but didn’t have time to get something other then the white flour crackers in the dressing room so I ate them. Today, after eating apples and tea, then tomato soup and crackers and tea, then working out… I thought, fuck it, I need a veggie sandwhich (no cheese, wheat bread). I need something that sits in my stomach and lets me know it exists instead of something I piss out in twenty minutes. and goddammit if that makes me fat and ugly so be it, I’m going to be fat and ugly. and I stand by that, I think I’m healthy, I changed my workouts, I don’t want to analyze everything I eat down to the sodium count. I know I eat mostly raw, whole foods, I know I want to be skinnier, wear down the muscle. But I want to continue to have a happy, easy going life, a good relationship, and the ability to laugh, drink with friends and share chocolate with my babes. so if anything, I’ll continue to watch what I eat when I’m eating like – eat less of the wheat toast when we go out to breakfast, drink more water during the day, continue to sub avocado for dressing whenever I can… et al. I’ll continue to skip a meal here and there and yes, I’ll finally commit to intermittent fasting once a week (per brad pilon). I do actually believe we need waaaay less food to thrive then the government would have us believe (2,000 calories my ass). I’ll not eat gummies everyday or even every week but I’ll be damned if I’m going to be picking at dry lettuce leaves and grapefruit. I swear there’s another way and I’m committed to finding it! Now I WILL have a lick of that candy cane THANK YOU VERY MUCH!
In other news, I have managed to not lift a weight or a band and be seperated from Tony Horton. I got the shakes for a couple of days but now I’m settle into hour long runs as the short runs, yoga class at least once a week, 16 minute abs when I can and rest days – as in 1 or 2 a week. That should change what I want about my body. I’ll let you know 🙂