So I have run the gamut on diets. and exercise routines. I am experimental and kind of… for lack of a prolific vocabulary… fidgety. I really enjoy discipling and progress and busyness. I’m type A as new friend pointed out this week. It couldn’t be truer. I’m always looking for more, next, better and I’ve get up and go that exhausts those around me and yes, even myself. However I find this to be one of the things I’m proud of. I may complain, and I may be dissatisfied but I push to find solutions, new ways of doing things et al. Life evolves, in my opinion and even when I want to rest on my laurels and enjoy my success at whatever level it may come at I know that eventually, and soon, I must progress and rest cannot be long. My religion is discipline. I live by hard work, consistency, sacrifice, routine and comittment. Especially as it pertains to health and fitness. I’m a bull. Most of this is borne out of my desire to turn eating disorders into a life of health and wellness… and meaning.
All that being said I found myself giving advice to a friend today that kind of shocked me. In discussing her fears I found myself saying “there are times when emotionally you need and so you’ll overeat. I have found that at least for myself I need to allow myself to do that and it will dissipate when it does” I have found, and by no means am I stating this as fact, but I have found when I allow myself to have different phases I am much happier and I get back to my equilibrium faster. For example, I will talk a lot about Brad Pilon’s eat stop eat. I really like his eating/living/fitness philosophy and I have found that I like incorporating intermittent fasting into my lifestyle. I personally like feeling light and empty the majority of the time. With my uuber active lifestyle it’s uncomfortable for me to workout and move around when I feel full or even close to full. This is also why my breakfasts usually aren’t a real breakfast but simply a soy latte or a soy latte with some almonds. However several times a week all this light eating and constant exercise results in a need to feel full, to eat something completely satiating. and so I give myself what I need emotionally. I know when those times are and get a nice big sandwich or cook up tofu and stirfry veggies and sit down and chow until I am full, sometimes a bit uncomfortably. but for my body to feel like I’m not depriving it, for my mind to not feel deprived I have to give myself the full feeling a couple times a week. in this way I am not running off of my need.
In the same vein I have come to understand that sometimes my emotional need exceeds my healthy physical ambition for perfection. Sometimes my craving for sweet things and fullness results in some light weight gain. But this too, when I can look at it as a temporary situation to deal with my emotional need it seems to run it’s course and fade away pretty quickly. Usually this is during a time of uncertainty and my forgiveness… or more accurately my understanding of my occasional excessive wants and the circumstances surrounding it, allows me to to find a stable and loving environment in myself. and from there I can find healthy ways to address my insecurity at whatever is happening in my life.
Fitness, as most things, like mental health, is a marathon, not a sprint. and when you’re running a marathon, you can’t hold one steady pace, you have to stop for water breaks (and to pee) and you have to allow for your body and your minds changing needs.